


A Hurting Heart.

by dragonluvr



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:15:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonluvr/pseuds/dragonluvr





	A Hurting Heart.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the NCIS Charaters.  
This Takes place right after the ending scence where McGee is talking to his estranged father at the end of the episode “The Penelope Papers” 

McGee sat at his desk staring at the phone. He couldn't believe that his own grandmother Penelope had lied to him, just to get him to talk to his father. After what his father had said to him the hurtful things, how could she have said he loved him. Tim knew that no matter what he would never forgive or forget those horrible words. As he sat there lost in his thoughts what his dad had said came back with all the venom and hate. He never could understand how his dad could hate him so much for a mistake he made years ago. The mistake of being caught with another man. He was only 16 when that happened and he had never been with another man since then. Sitting there lost in his thoughts and, the pain as his heart broke, so did his resolve to keep his tears at bay. It was hard for McGee to understand that his father never wanted to see him again or be a part of his life, but if thats what he wanted then by all means he would get that. He loved his mom and sister so much but he knew as long as his dad was alive he would never see his mom again. Sitting alone in the dark his tears began to flow the harder he tried to control himself and not to cry. His only comfort was that no one was around to see his weakness. He wasn't like Tony or even Gibbs, he couldn't keep these kinds of emotions bottled up hard as he might try. He was glad that Gibbs would never know how hurt he was.  
As the tears continued to flow Tim without realizing it began to talk outloud.  
"Why me? Why does he hate me so much? How can a man who says he loves someone throw that person away like a piece of trash? What have I done to deserve to be treated like this and hated so much? Is my life worth so little to the people I care about so much that they wouldn't even miss me if I was gone? Am I that bad of a person that I don't deserve to be loved and to love someone? Is there nobody in this world that can and will love me for me?" Tim lamented.  
Without knowing it Gibbs heard the pain and hurt in his young agents voice and he had heard what McGee's father had said to the young agent. It was breaking Gibbs heart knowing that Tim was going thru this alone and hurting so much. How could his father say those things to him and hurt him so much. It was getting to be to much for Gibbs. As he stood watching, McGee laid his head down on his desk and continued to weep. The silent sobs of McGee broke Gibbs heart.  
Gibbs leaned forward and softly said, “McGee you did nothing wrong. You father is the one who is wrong. Your a good man and a good agent. I know I don't tell you that enough but its true. It's time to go home. Get your stuff and lets go. Your going home with me tonight I don't think you should be alone. This is not open to discussion.”  
“ B..B..Boss I'm not …. I mean that i'm ….I will be ok. “  
“McGee what did I just say?”  
“That it wasn't open to discussion. Boss. I don't want to impose on you.”

 

“ McGee, Tim I heard what he said. I know that he hurt you a great deal.”  
“Boss it's ok. I will be fine. Please just leave it alone.” McGee pleaded.  
“Ok Tim. I know that you will tell me when your ready. Your still staying with me tonight” Gibbs growled.  
The two agents gathered their stuff and left in silence. They rode in silence to Gibbs home in silence each man lost in his own thoughts. McGee stared out the window berating himself for being so weak. McGee knew that his secret could destory his career, life, and his team. How could he tell Gibbs that he made a mistake like that not to mention how would the man think of him if he knew.  
Gibbs couldn't understand why his young agent wouldn't confide in him. Why his father had disowned him. Why Tim didn't think he could trust him he didn't know. What could his young agent have done to make his father so angry. If it was the last thing he did he would protect his agent. The thought of someone hurting McGee was unbearable to Gibbs.  
They arrived at Gibbs without a word spoken between the two men. Without a word they entered the house and Gibbs directed McGee to the living room and the worn leather couch. Gibbs left McGee in the living room and went to the kitchen deciding that beer was better tonight than bourban. When he came back into the living room Tim was sitting with his head in his hands sobs quietly wracking his body. It was unusual for the young agent to be showing his emotions like this. Gibbs new that McGee was a private person and it would take a lot for him to break like this. Gibbs set the beers down in front of McGee and took the younger man in his arms and held him to his chest. Comforting him as best as he could. Suddenly Tim looked up into Gibbs eyes his full of pain,hurt, and loneliness.  
“ What am I going to do now. I'm all alone. I have no one. My dad won't let me talk to or see the family. I never thought he would do this. Why? Why did he do this to me? I am alone now I have no one. Even my sister won't talk to me.What am I going to do Gibbs?” McGee cried the hurt showing in his eyes and in his voice.  
“ I don't know Tim. I just don't know why he did this. “ The hurt he saw and heard in Tims voice and eyes was almost to much for the older agent. Words failed him. It was almost to much for Gibbs seeing him like this, broken,hurt, and feeling like he had been abondened with no one to turn to not even him. When McGee had finally composed himself he pulled from Gibbs embrace and quickly downed the warm beer. They sat in silence for a time until Gibbs noticed the younger man had began to doze the emotional rollercoaster he was on finally taking its toll.  
“Come on Tim lets go to bed.” Gibbs spoke softly and helped the young agent up and took him to the master bedroom where he helped Tim out of his clothes and into the bed. As Gibbs turned to leave Tim's whispered words stopped him.  
“ Please don't go. Don't leave me alone. I don't think I can take it right now”  
Gibbs turned at the whispered words, seeing the anguish in his young agents eyes he knew that he couldn't leave him alone. Without a word Gibbs removed his clothes put on sweats and crawled into the bed with his young agent. Gibbs wrapped his arms protectively around Tim and the young man snuggled up close to Gibbs accepting his protective embrace. Both men finally fell asleep each in his own way enjoying having the other man near. Sometime in the night Tim came awake screaming “ No dad please don't kill him. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. Please dad if you have to hurt someone hurt me. He doesn't deserve it. I'm the one that kissed him. Please dad. I know it was wrong but please dad don't hurt him. I love him.”  
Gibbs now knew what was haunting his young agent and the reason for his dad disowning him. The knowledge did nothing to quiet his anger at the man. Gibbs put his arms around Tim pulling him close he smoothed his hair and whispered in his ear,”Tim it's ok, your going to be ok. I'm here for you. Sh...sh.. it's allright Tim it was just a nightmare.”  
Tim's sobs were like daggers in Gibbs heart cutting into his own broken heart. How coulds someone hurt Tim like this. He is the most gentle, compassionate man with the biggest heart the Gibbs had ever known. After all the shit Tony and Ziva,and the rest had put him thru including Gibbs, it was no wonder the young man didn't think he could trust him with this secret, the guilt he must have been carrying around all these years. The failed attempts with trying to find happiness. The constant teasing by Tony. How hurt Tim must be.  
Tim's broken voice, the pain, hurt, and anguish shown clearly in it, broke into Gibbs thoughts” I couldn't tell you B..B...Boss. I was afraid of what you would think. I was afraid that you wouldn't want me on the team anymore. Why would you i'm not a man i'm a freak, i'm worthless, i'm just useless. I know thats what you all think of me. That I don't matter and that the team would be better off without me. Besides now that you know that i'm gay or at least have slept with another man I know you don't want me on the team. How can you trust a man who is in love with his boss?”  
Gibbs for the first time saw how truly broken and hurt his young agent was. The fear that had gnawed at the younger man all these years. No wonder the kid was hurting so much. Why he thought so little of himself. He had been carrying around this dark secret so afraid he would lose the respect of and his team. Much less Gibbs respect and that Gibbs would throw him away like so many before him had. To McGee's mind Gibbs wouldn't be any different than anyone else in his life. He had to prove to the young agent he was worth more than he knew not only to the team, to Gibbs but more importantly to Tim himself. No wonder the man had no self estem. Before Gibbs could say something Tim was up and out of bed dressing quickly, taking Gibbs silence as the last straw. Seeing the hurt and humiliation in the young man's eyes brought Gibbs to his side in an instant. 

 

As McGee turned to leave Gibbs grabbed him and turned the younger man.  
“Where do you think your going McGee? No one said you could leave.” Gibbs growled in his ear. Tim just stood there his eyes on the floor, shoulders slumped,not saying a word. Gibbs placed his hand under the younger man's chin and lifted his beautiful green eyes to meet his own blue ones. What Tim saw there was compassion, understanding, love, and wanting.  
“Why would you even think we wouldn't want you on the team Tim?” Gibbs kept his voice soft and controlled even though he was angry and hurt that McGee would think that.  
“ Because you know what I am now, and more importantly how I feel about you. How would you be able to work with me knowing that i'm in love with you. Knowing that one of your team loves you and that one person is the nerdy geeky McGee. The one person on your team thats not attractive or handsome just a nothing” Tim said hurt tinging his voice.  
Gibbs gave him one of his patented head slaps..” Do you really think that your sexual orientation has anything to do with the job. Your one of my finest agent's McGee. You are the one who keeps this team grounded. Your bright, intelligent, kind,caring, strong, brave, and more than that you have sacrified more than anyone I know just to be the best at your job. As for how you feel about me what in the hell makes you think that those feelings aren't returned. “  
McGee shocked at the revelation could only stand there his mouth open, as his eyes glistened and brightened in the soft glow of the night light. “ You really mean that Boss?”  
“ McGee when have I ever said something that I didn't mean?” Gibbs laughed.  
“Never Boss.”  
“Then what makes you think I am now?”  
“It's just that...I never thought....?”  
“Just what McGee. That I couldn't love another person much less another man. Just because I have three ex-wives and I lost the only women I ever loved and my child. I don't have the capacity for loving another human being? Much less a man. Well let me tell you something Timothy McGee. Ever since I first saw you I've wanted you. I couldn't say or do anything about it because I didn't want to hurt you. That and rule 12 stopped me. I've never been with another man but every time your near me its like part of me is whole again and tonight holding you felt so right. There is nothing wrong with loving someone even if its someone of the same sex. Love doesn't come around very often and when it does you have to hang on to it.”  
Tim's face flushed with the realization that maybe just maybe he wasn't alone. That maybe someone could and would love him for himself. 

“ Now that that's been said lets go back to bed and we can talk some more in the morning before work. I dont know about you but this old man is tired.” Gibbs said as he wrapped his arms around the younger man and for the first time softly kissed the lips and held the man he had wanted to kiss and hold all these years.  
The kiss was soft,tender and full of the passion that both men held in their hearts for the other.  
Breaking the kiss finally McGee whispered in Jethroe's ear,” Thank you Jethroe. But I have to know that this isn't going to be a one time fling, that if we do this its for the long haul. I can't take another broken heart.”  
“Tim I promise this isn't a one time fling. Just remember this is all new to me. We have to take it slow. I wouldn't hurt you for the world your very special and very precious to me. For the first time in my life since Shannon and Kelly died I feel whole and at peace. My heart doesn't hurt all the time and I don't feel empty inside.Now lets get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere.”  
Tim quietly accepted that and knew that they would talk more but that right now they both needed some rest. Tim slipped out of his clothes this time not stopping till he was naked. Turning to look at his new lover afraid of what he would see in Gibb's eyes, his own fell to the floor. Gibbs walked over to Tim, taking his chin in his hand he lifted the younger mans eyes to his own. “ Timothy McGee you are beautiful.”  
Seeing the love in Jethroes eyes Tim smiled.  
“If you have any doubts about me likeing what I see in front of me or how I feel about you then this should quiet those doubts. You are so beautiful.” Gibbs growled taking Tim's hand in his own and placing it against his own hardness that was covered by the sweatpants. “Does that feel like you repulse me or that I don't truly like what I see before me?”  
“No B..Boss it doesn't. In fact if feels like you very much like what you see. Now are you going to join me naked in bed or are you going to keep those dam sweats on.” Tim replied slipping into bed. It took only a minute before Jethroe joined his young lover naked in bed, and wrapped himself around the young man. They kissed good night and quickly fell asleep. As he closed his eyes and sleep took him the last whispered words Tim said were,” I love you Leroy Jethroe Gibbs. I finally feel like i'm home.”  
The End  
If you liked this story and would like to have me finish it let me know. Thank you for taking the time to read this and all feed back is welcome. Please keep derogatory comments to yourself. No one deserves to have their work torn apart. Treat others as you want to be treated. Thank you again.


End file.
